AUTHOR: My Something
TITLE: Like a Re-Virgin
ALLOW COMMENTS: 1
CONVERT BREAKS: 1
ALLOW PINGS: 0
DATE: 3/27/2003 05:19:00 PM
I’ve been swamped with projects. They were all created and put upon me by myself so I have no one to blame. One of the projects is tagging my mp3 files for my iPod so that I can sort them by genre, tempo, situation and preference. Anal, I know, but I just want it to be perfect. And after I finished doing that I added another 1,000 files from my CD collection. So that’s more work for me. It will all be worth it in the end. It will all be worth it in the end. It will all be worth it in the end.
Another project, which is actually due this Saturday, is homework for a knitting workshop in Avon. Just before she left for CT, my friend Michele asked me to come up for a visit and go to this workshop. Of course I said yes and I’ve been looking forward to it until I got the homework. It’s relatively simple but as I’ve recently had my mind on many other things, it’s causing me stress. Plus I haven’t knitted for over a month. So when she asked me again last week if I was looking forward to it, I wavered. This is more or less my response: “Yes, I’m looking forward to getting out of the city and seeing my friend but no, I’m not looking forward to knitting all day Saturday. I don’t know, maybe it will reinvigorate my enjoyment of the craft. But I suspect it will just make me feel like it’s just one more road sign on my way to OldMaidVille. I mean, I may as well be re-virginized now.” And of course, her response was an eye roll and “Oh, Patti.” I can’t be certain about the eye roll as we were on the phone but the odds are in my favor.
So, hence the title, this post is about re-virginization. It’s a myth among women that if you (I think this only applies to women) go without sex for an extended period of time that you can reclaim your virginity. Some say it’s after a year, I say it’s after two years. (I’m sure when I hit that mark, I push it up to 3 years. Please God, what have you foresaken me?!?!?) What I don’t get is why would someone want to reclaim his or her virginity? Because it’s more of a mental/emotional thing any way. It’s not like after 2 years you forget how to do it or how it feels. Well, you might forget somewhat how it feels but you’re left with the memories. And some of them are not good. Now if it came with one of those Men in Black neuralyzer (I had to look that up) that made you forget the sex, then I’m all for re-virginization. There’s nothing like that not knowing and anticipation time before you have sex for the first time. Because you think all these amazing things about it like it will be just like in the movies (for me it was Pretty Woman). But then the cold reality sets in: he’s no Richard Gere and despite the similarities in our hair, accent and laugh, I am, sadly, not Julia Roberts. Of course, they had to simulate sex in a room full of people and that certainly wasn’t part of the fantasy.
So until the time where my memories of sex can be erased, I’ll keep my non-virgin status, thanks. Really it's the lesser of two evils. The lesser of two depressives, actually. At least I'm not a virgin at my age. Not that there's anything wrong with that.